9/10/2016 – Hey Beardo!…sorry, Hey Banjo!

What a great day and I was only there for half of it! My brother has always maintained that punctuality is a virtue of the bored yet others are adamant that lateness is a virtue of the lazy – I still do not know which one is worse.

Upon arrival however, I realised I had missed a few minutes of this glory and going forth, will never be late again, unless its raining.

 

 

But as I arrived (by foot) at Shelley, I noticed a significant lack of swimmers for a Sunday and enquired from the wisest-looking man what was happening? I tried to do it in a way that I knew he would understand:

“Hey Beardo! Where all ‘dem’ people at?”

 

 

Somewhere in the sunlight, his face lost all expression (and me, all credibility), his brow tensed up and he explained what had happened only 20 minutes earlier at South Steyne.

I was super surprised that he could not only name everyone (or at least he gave names to everyone) but also knew where many of them learnt to swim (or he made it up)!

And I quote:

 

There was movement at the clubhouse, for the word had got on through

That the Jimbles from out East were here to stay;

For they loved the warmer water – and today was a balmy eighteen point two,

So they split the swimmers in a different way.

 

 

All the suited pros and gutsy paddlers from all corners of the beaches,

Fearing not those Jimbles swam on South,

While those with hot dates on, who best avoid the dirty leeches,

Went north to miss a sting worse than on the mouth.

 

There was one who looked rather flash, so brightly dressed with shiny locks,

Compared to saltwater, had never tried a finer tea,

And from his early years in deep swell, laughed off Jimbles, junks and crocs,

Such is learnt when in the perilous South China Sea!

 

 The three striking sisters stood out well – miles past the main line,

And he who bombed the photo pressed out his chest

Which lead the sisters all to utter, in perfect pitch and time,

‘Today Jimbles are the second biggest pest!’

 

Both wearing grins an ocean wide, so fit – they matched each other stroke for stroke

Hard to meet a finer pair than Jim and Jan,

But more familiar with box jellyfish – they thought Jimbles were a joke!

For both were water-born, in our Northern Land.

 

 

 

Then some blokes in Budgies, on first glance you’d think be more cautious;

And at any minute, they might just pull away;

But never chance that second glance – or you will soon feel so nauseas,

But they’re overdressed! Compared to what they wore as kids in the Bengal Bay!

 

 

These Swedish gave me quite a shock, my assumptions were in shreds!

For I’d never seen so many Swedes don so many clothes;

Cos’ from the chalet sauna to Midsummer – who’s got time for threads?

But it worked – the Jimbles only got them on their toes.

 

 

The crowd all saw Peter and Sir-Brian, so quick to dismiss the worry,

They’d been up against the Jimbles twice before;

But in County Cork they learnt a trick with Guinness, that made the Jimbles flurry

A pint on your breath, and they’re out the door!

 

 But this lass proved the wisest, with a master plan in play,

A trick I thought I would’ve learnt by now.

Her red orange flippers were indeed the best card dealt that day,

But I was shocked and had to know what was done, and how?

With her Pauline Hanson coloured fins, the bludgers parted on her side,

This awful correlation was the trick;

For she learnt in her home waters of the Tasman – even mono-cells have pride,

And a loud and abrasive image makes them sick.

 

But I predict the north and south will come together as one team

For all 200 enjoyed the day, whichever route they take,

And with such tricks now on hand, next time – worried, none will seem;

And all will head south, without an ache.

 

Thanks Beardo! That was wonderful!

 

Back on dry land there were the usual trouble makers around the shower – sort of like the Bold and Beautiful version of the water cooler. Some talk about their jobs while others try tricks with their stomachs.

 

 

 

And the Jimbles did not seem to ruin anyone’s day!

 

 

 

+

 

Some were so happy they pretended to be Rainer!

And the ones behind the magic

 

 

And the most amazing thing – Emma did not make it into the blog…more than once. 

 

And sorry if the delay of the blog ruined your Sunday, but it may help your Monday – or make it worse.

If however, you are a bit bored, I would love some help to brainstorm what actually should come after the greeting ‘Hey Beardo!…’

Please add your comments below – crude comments are not tolerated, they are expected.

 

All the best for a good week ,

 

Gino